It'll Be Alright
by flour-chan xXx SSS
Summary: John watches Sherlock fall, and it takes its toll on him. John struggles to get back to a normal life, as normal as it could be for John, without Sherlock there. It's hard for John, maybe a little too hard for him. Rated T for now. BOYxBOY. No flames please.
1. Chapter 1 He's Dead

It'll be alright - Chapter 1 He's Dead

Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock or any characters in Sherlock or in my fan made story. This is purely fan made.

Summary: John watches Sherlock fall, and it takes its toll on him. John struggles to get back to a normal life, as normal as it could be for John, without Sherlock there. It hard for John, maybe a little too hard for him.

Authors note: Hey guys, I wrote this pretty quickly which I was surprised about. I was meant to be writing up my 'Angels Keeper' second chapter, so sorry guys I was on a roll with this one :P I thought that if I had finished this one I might as well put it up sorry again for anyone who is waiting for 'Angels Keeper'. I hope you like this, I feel pretty proud of this one XD Anywho on with the show as they say.

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><p>John P.O.V<p>

''It'll be alright Sherlock'' I whispered desperately into my phone whilst looking up at Sherlock on the edge of the roof, ready to jump. To end it all.

''Please Sherlock please, just...just step away from the edge I'll come get you okay?'' I said frantically shaking my head, Sherlock seemed so small so high up.

''I'm sorry John this is the way it has to be.'' He replied, sadness in his voice clear as anything.

''No!'' I said sternly ''No it's not, this is not the only way, we can work this out together. Like always.'' I was fighting back the urge to cry, I would not cry.

''Hah!'' I heard him mutter into the phone ''John I'm a fake, there was never us working out anything'' I thought I could hear him holding back tears, but I know Sherlock and he's not like that.

''I don't believe that. You. Are. Brilliant. And I will always believe in you.'' I said proudly yet brokenly.

''Thank you John, but it's too late'' He said and I watched him fall. I could no longer hold back the tears I was bottling up as I screamed his name.

''SHERLOCK!''

My eyes blurred from my tears, I ran to him but was run over by a bike. I didn't bother to see who it was or to say sorry, I just got up and continue to run to Sherlock. He was all I could think of at that moment in time. By the time I got to him, he was already on the floor. Blood was everywhere. I couldn't think, I couldn't breath. All I wanted to do was to see if Sherlock was okay. Everything was suddenly fuzzy, I started to hyperventilate when I couldn't find Sherlock's pulse. I was pushed back, away from him, I was too weak to fight back. Someone was trying to get my attention, I was sat on the edge of an ambulance, I didn't take much notice. I just blanked whoever it was out. My only thoughts where that of Sherlock...Sherlock was dead. He wasn't coming back, he was gone. He left me all alone.

I must of been injected with something to make me sleep because the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a pure white room. I blinked blearily around the room, confused. And then it hit me all over again. Sherlock, Sherlock was gone. As final realisation set in, I felt my heart shatter and my whole body felt numb. Just then a nurse walked into my room, took one look at me and walked back out again. She came back a few minutes later with a doctor in tow.

''Hello , I'm Doctor Smith and this is Nurse Cassidy. I'm here to help you.'' Doctor Smith addressed me calmly walking to one side of my bed when he spoke of the Nurse. I just continued to stare at the white walls of my hospital room. He tried again...

''Hello? Can you hear me? If you can understand me, can you face me?'' I turned my face to look at him, my eyes dead all the light gone. Doctor Smith looked at Nurse Cassidy concerned.

''How do you feel?'' Doctor Smith asked. What a stupid question, I thought to myself, my best friend has just died and you're asking me 'how I feel?'. I didn't say any of this to him though, all I said was…

''He's Dead.''

Another Nurse came in then; whispered something to Nurse Cassidy, who got up from her seat that I hadn't seen her take, and left the room with the other Nurse. Doctor Smith paid no mind to the Nurse's as they left, and continue to ask me various questions before giving up at my constant silence and he too got up from his seat on the side of my bed and walked out. It was a good couple of hours before Doctor Smith came back, I hadn't moved from my position since he had left.

''Hello again , There's some people here who want to talk to you.'' He said softly to me.

The blinds around my room where closed so I couldn't see who it was, until Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade and Sergeant Sally Donovan walk in. Although I didn't look up at them I wasn't surprised to see them, I knew they would come eventually for my statement on Sher...on Sher...on '_his'_ death because I was a witness when '_he'_ fell.

''Hello John'' Lestrade looked at me sadly. Doctor Smith pulled Lestrade to the corner of the room, supposedly so I couldn't hear them.

''He's gone through extreme shock and hyperventilation, I'm surprised he's even up right now. I doubt you'll get much from him, he's not very responsive.'' Doctor Smith said quietly, looking at me.

''I don't know why, they weren't even that close.'' Donovan said carelessly and loudly. I turned my face slowly to look at her, my face blank and dead but clearly showing my distaste for her comment. She shuddered ''Geez what's with his eyes.'' She said, looking away from me to Doctor Smith.

''He's just seen someone die Sergeant, whether or not they were close, death is bound to take a toll on a persons mental health.'' Doctor Smith replied staring disapprovingly at Donovan. I just continued to stare blankly at Donovan before she shuddered again before turning to Lestrade.

''Sir if it's all the same to you I think i'll wait outside, he's giving me the creeps.'' She said before getting a nod from Lestrade and walking out of the room, not even looking back at me as she left.

''Right well, Doctor if you don't mind?'' Lestrade asked Doctor Smith, who nodded and walked out of the room as well.

''John?'' Lestrade called my name again. ''John, it's me Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade do you remember?'' He asked. He moved himself into my line of vision and tried again.

''John? Please John we need your help on this so we can sort this mess out yeah?'' He said, pity in his eyes as he looked at me.

''He's dead.'' I whispered brokenly. Lestrade looked surprised for a minute before going back into Inspector mode.

''My condolences John. Do you think you can tell me what happened?'' He asked.

''He fell.'' I said simply.

''Right okay, that's something. Can you tell me anything about before Sherlock fell?'' He questioned, I flinched at the mention of '_his'_ name.

''Phone. Talking. Fell.'' I explained, my eyes misting once again, my breath quickening. Just then Doctor Smith and Nurse Cassidy burst through the door, Doctor Smith came straight over to me and Nurse Cassidy was trying to move Lestrade out of the way and out of the room.

''Wait, hang on I can't go off just that.'' He shouted over his shoulder as Nurse Cassidy pushed him once more out of the room, closing the door behind him.

''John. John can you hear me?'' Doctor Smith asked me.

''John, John I need you to calm down. Breath.'' He said, but I couldn't hear him properly everything was going fuzzy again.

''Get a sedative'' He said to Nurse Cassidy, she disappeared out of the room and within seconds she was back again with a needle in her hands. She handed it to Doctor Smith's outstretched hand and he turned to me.

''Now John, I'm going to give you a sedative okay?'' He said calmly before injecting the sedative into the IV drip that was to my right. Slowly I felt everything fade and my eyes felt heavy before everything went black once more.

Lestrade P.O.V

We had just arrived at the hospital, where John was being kept in for observation, when we met the Doctor who was assigned to John.

''Ah hello you must be Detective Inspector Lestrade and Sergeant Donovan?'' He asked.

''Yes we are, and you are?'' I asked in return.

''I am Doctor Smith, I've been assigned to look after Mr. Watson while he's here on observation.'' He replied.

'Right, can we see him?'' I asked

''Yes, right this way'' Doctor Smith said, gesturing down the hall and we followed him through the hospital until we came to a stop outside a private room with all the blinds closed.

''I'll go in first to tell him of your arrival.'' He said before disappearing into the closed off room. It was only a couple of minutes before he came back out and called us over to come in.

When I walked through the private hospital room door, I don't know what I was expecting to see but it wasn't Watson sat propped up by pillows with a dead, blank face staring off into the distance in a pure white room. It was as if John Watson was no longer home.

''Hello John'' I said sadly before I was pulled back to the corner of the room by Doctor Smith.

''He's gone through extreme shock and hyperventilation, I'm surprised he's even up right now. I doubt you'll get much from he's not very responsive.'' Doctor Smith said quietly, looking at John.

''I don't know why, they weren't even that close.'' Donovan said carelessly and loudly. John turned his face slowly to look at her, his face blank and dead but clearly showing his distaste for her comment. She shuddered ''Geez what's with his eyes.'' She said, looking away from John to Doctor Smith.

''He's just seen someone die Sergeant, whether or not they were close, death is bound to take a toll on a persons mental health.'' Doctor Smith replied staring disapprovingly at Donovan. John just continued to stare blankly at Donovan before she shuddered again before turning to me.

''Sir if it's all the same to you I think i'll wait outside, he's giving me the creeps.'' She said before I nodded to her and she walked out of the room, not even looking back at John as she left. She was right though, John's demeanor was even giving me goose bumps.

''Right well, Doctor if you don't mind?'' I asked Doctor Smith, who nodded and walked out of the room as well.

''John?'' I called John's name again. ''John, it's me Lestrade do you remember?'' I asked. I moved my into his line of vision and tried again.

''John? Please John we need your help on this so we can sort this mess out yeah?'' I said, trying to keep the pity from my voice and eyes as I looked at him.

''He's dead.'' John whispered brokenly. I was taken by surprise for a minute before going back to asking John about Sherlock's death..

''My condolences John. Do you think you can tell me what happened?'' I asked gently pushing to get some answers.

''He fell.'' John said simply.

''Right okay, that's something. Can you tell me anything about before Sherlock fell?'' I questioned, John seemed to flinch when I mentioned Sherlock's name.

''Phone. Talking. Fell.'' He explained. Then it happened all at once his eyes went misty, his breath quickening, Doctor Smith and a Nurse burst through the door. Doctor Smith went straight over to John and the Nurse was trying to push me out of the room.

''Wait, hang on I can't go off just that.'' I shouted over my shoulder as the Nurse pushed me once more out of the room, closing the door behind me.

''Well fat load of good that did'' I mumbled to myself, just then Sergeant Donovan came over.

''Get anything worth our time?'' She asked huffing.

''Not much'' I replied. ''Just that he fell and they were talking on the phone before Sherlock fell.'' I sighed.

''Well at least you got something.'' She said, putting her hands on her hips.

''Right yeah, his phone. Go see if you can get it off the hospitals hands, there might be something there.'' I directed. She nodded and disappeared around the corner, as Doctor Smith and the Nurse came out of John's room.

''Is it okay to go back in now?'' I asked Doctor Smith.

''No, we couldn't calm him down properly so we hand to give him a sedative.'' Doctor Smith explained, booking no room for argument.

''Okay then, I best be off then'' I said bidding Doctor Smith and the nurse a goodbye before turning and walking away to find my Sergeant. 'This really is a mess' I thought to myself. On the way to the reception desk, I caught sight of Sergeant Donovan waiting for me with what looked like John's phone.

''Is that his phone'' I asked, pointing to the phone.

''Yes'' She replied, holding it out to me to take.

''Good, hopefully we can find something to be able to wrap this all up.'' I exclaimed walking to the entrance and exit.

''But sir'' Said Sergeant Donovan, running slightly to catch up with me. ''I thought this was all sorted, Sherlock was a fraud and committed suicide by jumping of a building because everyone found out.'' She stated.

''Yes, you and I know that but we have to have the evidence. But I have this feeling that something else is going on behind closed doors and I want to find out what.'' I exclaimed as we stood in front of the hospital, the automatic doors closed behind us.

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><p>Authors note: Yay! I hope you liked it. I know it's rather sad I know but I wanted to write about, how I believe, John would have coped in the years that Sherlock was gone. But it won't be completely about the three years that are missed out, in the next chapter they will just talk of those years in passing unlike the show (where they basically say jack all) So peeps let me know what you think, but no flames please thankies :)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2 The Truth

It'll be alright - Chapter 2 The Truth

Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock or any characters from or in is purely fan made.

Authors note: Hey guys I am so so sorry for taking so long to put this up. I completely forgot I hadn't put this up. I thought I had but, when I was working on the third chapter I saw that this chapter had 'upload' next to it and normally I take that off when I upload something. That's when I realised I hadn't actually uploaded. I am so so sorry guys, Please forgive me ne? Hope you like it.

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><p><em>Previously ~<em>

_John P.O.V_  
><em>''John I'm a fake, there was never us working out anything'' I thought I could hear him holding back tears, but I know Sherlock and he's not like that.<em>

''_I don't believe that. You. Are. Brilliant. And I will always believe in you.'' I said proudly yet brokenly._

''_Thank you John, but it's too late'' He said and I watched him fall..._

''_SHERLOCK!'' _

''_Hello , I'm Doctor Smith and this is Nurse Cassidy. I'm here to help you.'' The doctor, doctor smith, addressed me calmly walking to the side of my bed…_

''_He's Dead.''_

_Lestrade P.O.V  
><em>_''Hello John'' I said sadly before I was pulled back to the corner of the room by Doctor Smith._

''_He's gone through extreme shock and hyperventilation, I'm surprised he's even up right now. I doubt you'll get much from he's not very responsive.'' Doctor Smith said quietly, looking at John._

''_John? Please John we need your help on this so we can sort this mess out yeah?'' I said, trying to keep the pity from my voice and eyes as I looked at him…_

''_He's dead.'' John whispered brokenly._

''_My condolences John. Do you think you can tell me what happened?'' I asked gently pushing to get some answers.  
>''He fell.'' John said simply.<em>

''_Right okay, that's something. Can you tell me anything about before Sherlock fell?'' I questioned, John seemed to flinch when I mentioned Sherlock's name._

''_Phone. Talking. Fell.'' He explained._

''_Get anything worth our time?'' She asked huffing._

''_Not much'' I replied. ''Just that he fell and they were talking on the phone before Sherlock fell.'' I sighed._

''_Well at least you got something.'' She said, putting her hands on her hips.  
><em>

''_I thought this was all sorted, Sherlock was a fraud and committed suicide by jumping off a building because everyone found out.'' She stated._

''_Yes, you and I know that but we have to have the evidence. But I have this feeling that something else is going on behind closed doors and I want to find out what.'' I exclaimed..._

_And now…_

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><p>Lestrade P.O.V<p>

''Sir!, sir! Inspector Lestrade!'' Someone yelled at me.

''Yeah'' I said to them, turning to face them. I was just about to head home, when I heard my name being called.

''We've done it sir!'' Police constable Doyle said to me.

''Done what Doyle?'' I asked him, starting to lose my patience.

''Richard Brook was fake, James Moriarty was the real thing. Moriarty made the alias of Richard Brook to hide and frame Sherlock Holmes for being a fake'' He finished.

I just stared at him in shock. I couldn't respond from the sheer joy that Sherlock finally could have his name cleared and that I could tell John that Sherlock really was the real thing. Also from dread of the fact that I had to tell John about it, because it would of meant that Sherlock had died for nothing, from false accusations which just makes everything so much worse. John had been extremely fragile in the first year of Sherlock's death, and it was hard just to get him to do anything.

He wouldn't come out of his room for the first few months after he got out of the hospital, and even then when he did come out he hardly spoke, ate or did anything. It was like he was dead inside, as if he died with Sherlock that day. It was as if he was so fragile that he would just break like some china doll. It was most frightening when I went round his and Sherlock's old place to try to cheer John up, and I found him in the bath with his wrists slashed.

He had to be rushed to the hospital, the same one which Sherlock had jumped from, and it was touch and go if John would actually survive the ordeal but he did in the end which I know Ms Hudson was extremely glad for, I don't think she could of handled John leaving her as well.

''Sir?'' Police constable Doyle voice jerked me out of my thoughts.

''Right yes, good I need to tell John. Can you deal with the press?'' I asked him.

''Yes sir'' Police constable Doyle answered me.

I sighed to myself as I turned away from Police constable Doyle, I couldn't believe it took us two whole years just to prove that Sherlock wasn't a fraud. I knew that something else was going on behind closed doors. Now all I had to do was to tell John, how hard could that be?

''Bye everyone, thanks for the hard work today'' I called out to everyone, and I heard various 'byes' and 'see you tomorrows' as I left the department and headed for my car.

I thought to myself that I might as well go and tell John before I head home, so he can hear it face to face rather than hearing about Sherlock being cleared of being a fraud on the 10 o'clock news. It was a fairly quick drive to 221, rush hour hadn't kicked into full swing just yet which I was glad for. I knocked on the door and was greeted by Ms hudson, who was extremely pleased with the news I brang but warned me that it was a bad day for John.

I walked up the stairs, past 221B and up to 221C where John had taken residence after Sherlock's death. John said he didn't want to live in the apartment where there were so many memories of Sherlock, but he said he didn't want to be too far from them so he moved into the next apartment 221C. I knocked on the door of 221C but got no reply after 5 minutes of waiting before I realised if it was a bad day, John would be in 221B. So I traipsed back down to 221B, and knocked softly of the door.

''Come in the doors open'' I heard John call out softly.

I pushed the door lightly, and walked into the apartment slowly. I saw John curled up tightly, knees to his chest, in Sherlock's chair.

''Hi John'' I said, coming to a stop a few feet from him.

''Come to check up on me eh Lestrade?'' John said, not even looking up at me.

''Well partly'' I admitted ''The other, is that I have some good news for you John'' I said.

''Oh and what could ever be good news?'' John asked me.

''Sherlock's name has been cleared, we found the evidence that proves Richard Brook was a fake alias and that James Moriarty was real'' I said. John's eyes crinkled slightly as I spoke and I could see the tears at the edges of them. Tears he refused to let fall in my presence.

''Finally'' John whispered wistfully. He finally turned to face me with a small sad smile. ''Thank you Inspector, for everything but I should be fine now'' He stated.

''I'm glad we were able to help and clear his name, even if it's two years too late'' I said sadly.

''Yes, thank you. It means a lot to me that you kept the investigation open.'' John said.

''It was the least I could do, plus I had to have complete evidence even if Sherlock wasn't...''I trailed off not wanting to upset John but by the look on his face he knew what I was going to say.

''It's late Lestrade, you should be getting yourself home for dinner'' John said.

''Yes I suppose I should. You'll be okay?'' I asked him.

''Yes I'll be fine, good night Lestrade'' He replied.

''Alright then, good night John'' I said before turning and walking back out onto the street.

John P.O.V

''Alright then, good night John'' Lestrade said.

I watched as he left the 221B, went down the stairs and I heard the front door open and slam closed again. I was very relieved that '_His_' name was cleared now. It still hurt to think of '_him_' or say '_his_' name but it was still a relief. I suddenly felt extremely guilty because after all these years of everyone telling me '_He_' was a fraud, I had started to believe it.

I felt so guilty that it hurt, I felt the tears I was holding back from Lestrade finally fall free from my eyes. I don't know how long I cried, curled up in '_His_' chair, but by the time I came to my senses the sky was starting to change from pitch black to an ever growing pale blue. I numbly got out of '_his_' chair and wandered over to the window to look out at the sky before turning away and walking to '_his_' bedroom, suddenly feeling extremely tired.

I push '_his_' bedroom door open and sluggishly made my way to '_his_' bed, before slowly descending upon the mattress and feeling myself instantly sinking into a deep sleep, dreams where '_he_' hadn't died and I was laughing and telling '_him_' that I knew he was never a fraud but they soon turned to nightmares of '_him_' accusing me of not believing him and awoke with a start, bolting up straight.

I sighed at looked at the clock on the bedside table, it read 5:30am. I got up to go to the bathroom, the dream brought on bad feelings I didn't want to feel and as they say bad habbits die hard. When I felt a little better, I left the bathroom and I made my way into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I grabbed the red kettle, put some water in it from the tap and flicked it to boil. I sat down at the kitchen table whilst I waiting for the kettle to boil, I put my elbows in the table and my face in my hands as I felt tremors of new tears trying to form but I pushed them down which made my throat burn.

I miss '_him_' more than I ever thought, more than I let anyone know. '_He_' became my life, '_he_' gave me reason to get up in the morning after the war and then '_he_' was ripped away from me. I claimed '_he_' was my best friend, which was partly true but I loved him more than anything. What really hurt was that it took '_him_' dying for me to realise my feelings for '_him_', but by that time it was too late and '_he_' was gone.

I was still sat at the table when I heard Ms Hudson obviously waking up as I heard her shuffling around in her flat below. As I thought over Lestrade's words and it was as if a switch had been flicked on and I suddenly wanted to go see Sherlock and tell him the good news. So I got up from the chair in the kitchen and headed to '_his_' room to find some decent clothes to wear.

Once I was done dressing, I headed out of '_his_' flat and down the stairs all the while calling to Ms Hudson that I was going out and would be back soon so not to worry. As I walked out the front door onto the street, I could hear Ms Hudson calling out to me stuttering about the news but I payed little attention to her and carried on my way. I was a man on a mission.

Sherlock P.O.V

It had been two years since I last saw John. 'He must have moved on by now. John is strong. He would of found a lovely lady to settle down with' I thought to myself and for some reason it hurt to think like that. Sure I missed John, he was my friend but it shouldn't be the reason why I felt this pain over John being with someone. It just wasn't logical, so I tried to shake off the strange feelings bubbling under my skin.

''Sherlock'' I heard my name being called and lifted my head, my gaze meeting that of my brothers.

''Mycroft'' I replied.

''It's time to go'' He said.

''Don't you think you're forgetting something'' I said, gesturing to myself.

''Ah yes.'' He turned to his secretary, and gestured her to give me the coat in her hands.

''Thank you'' I said, suddenly feeling nervous about becoming alive again and seeing John once more. I had a few theories in which how John may react to seeing me again but I was still nervous. Which was starting to get annoying really. I think Mycroft could see the turmoil I was going through because he said to me in rather amused but understanding voice.

''You'll be fine Sherlock''

''Of course I know I'll be fine'' I snapped back.

''John will still want you back, especially with how he's been these past few years'' He said, ignoring my outburst.

''No. I don't want to know, I'll find out myself when I see him.'' I said. I didn't want to know how well John might have been getting on in a life without me. It hurt too much to even think about, without having to know the actual details. I turned my back on Mycroft and walked through the tall metal I was walking down the long corridor which led from the room, I thought I would take a look at my 'grave' before I announced to John that I was alive and well.

I hailed a cab and told the driver to go to the graveyard in which I was 'burried'. The driver peared at me suspiciously and then abruptly broke into conversation at me, saying how much a looked like the phony detective that everyone went crazy for when he was alive. For the most part I just ignored him and kept my face blank, clear of any emotions, but when he called John a fool and gullible for 'following the phony around like a lost puppy' as he put it, it made me mad and I was starting to see red. Luckily for both my sanity and his safety, we just pulled up to the graveyard. I chucked the money at him not even looking back to get change, got out of the cab and slammed the door behind me before striding off to the graveyard gates.

When I had finally started to near my 'grave' my anger had subsided. As I got closer and closer I saw that someone was kneeling in front of my 'grave', arms wrapped around the headstone, crying. I didn't recognise them, they were obviously in a bad shape emotionally and physically. I didn't need to be a great detective to notice that. It couldn't be John because he was much stronger than that, so maybe it was Molly I thought to myself. But no, the figures shape was quite clear it was of a man not a women but I didn't know anyone well enough other than John for someone to cry over me.

For one of those precious moments in life I was stumped at who the person was. It was then, that the person leaned back on their knees taking their arms away from the headstone to wipe the tears away from their face. And then they spoke and I felt my whole body freeze, eyes growing wide and my heart plunging into the deep dark cold abyss, as I recognized who it was. This was not how I calculated it, this wasn't meant to happen.

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><p>Authors note: Once again am so so sorry guys for forgetting to upload this chapter. I hope you liked it though. Thank for reading :) Don't be afraid to leave a comment (But no flames please) and feel free to favourite and follow and stuff XD Again sorry and thanks for reading :)<p> 


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